Songs have a lot of power to influence our moods. How do we harness them to help us feel better when we get the blues?

The answer to this question varies from one person to the other and depends on each person’s music preferences – however, here are my suggestions, and I’ll start with the type of songs that don’t work for me:

It’s not going to be alright

The entire category of “don’t worry be happy” songs and “everything is gonna be alright” doesn’t work for me. Why? Because when you are depressed, you don’t believe that everything is going to be alright. And when someone tries to convince you to feel better by saying that, it feels like an insult to your intelligence and you get more irritated and upset. When someone tells you to “stop worrying” it also increases the feeling that they simply don’t understand you.

I don’t care that you’re happy

I personally steer away from “cheery” songs when I’m in a bad mood. First of all, because a lot of them are crappy. Second of all, I don’t need to hear that someone else is happy when I am down. Don’t flush it in my face please. Take for example, the song “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. I know that at least 2,998,658 people are not going to agree with me (that is the number of “likes” the video has), but seriously, it is one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard. It’s super repetitive, and even if you mute the annoying words – I have no idea how such a boring tune became so popular.

Dump the relationship stuff

When down, I would avoid 97% of songs about love and relationships. Your depression is often caused by the loss of a relationship or the absence of a relationship in your life, so this type of songs is guaranteed to add more pain. When depressed, avoid relationship songs at all cost (see one exception below).

Say no to melancholic tunes

Because you are already down. Don’t submit to the urge to sink deeper into it.

So what is left??

The three songs I recommend below are all high energy rock songs. Hearing a high-energy song when depressed, helps me release some of the negative energy.

Favorite topics: songs about people going through hard times; songs about how life is not black and white; songs that acknowledge the state you are in, and don’t judge you. And most importantly, they don’t try to make you instantly “happy” with an annoying repetitive tune. Here are three great songs for when you’re feeling down.

3 Doors Down – The Road I’m On

Great song from beginning to end. My favorite parts are:

“I know you feel helpless now and I know you feel alone” (thank you! Finally!)

“That’s the same road, the same road that I am on”

“What you thought was real in life somehow steered you wrong” (precisely!)

“Now you just keep drivin’ tryin’ to find out where you belong” (correct. Without the driving part. I use public transportation)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFxjNLCw9eI

Audioslave – Be Yourself

Another great song. The overall idea is: you can’t control circumstances in life, so just be yourself. Favorite parts:

“Someone gets excited in a chapel yard, catches a bouquet

Another lays a dozen white roses on a grave”

(implicitly – don’t be jealous of the good fortune of another, for every person who is happy right now, there is another person somewhere who is sad; for every one who is lucky, there is a misfortunate one)

“Someone swears his true love until the end of time, another runs away” (e.g. you are not the only one in the world who got dumped)

“I’m sure everything will end up alright” (well, I know I warned you against this kind of statements. But somehow coming from Chris Cornell it sounds more convincing)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve1rjZ9aOsI

Pink – Try

This song is different from the other two, and so far it’s the only relationship song allowed on the list. I only allowed it on the list because it takes a realistic approach to breakups – acknowledges they happen and encourages you to try again:

“Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame

Where there is a flame someone’s bound to get burned

But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die

You’ve gotta get up and try” (word.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0_RArrxS44

 

I created a playlist for us with these 3 songs, would love to hear your thoughts + ideas for more songs that fit this category! You can add songs in this link!